Less of April...

It’s that time of the month don’t even mess with me. Oh, let's keep it real. People don't care how you feel. Every little thing (Everything) God may heal it. Where's a piece of mind when you need it, oh Lord. When does it end. I can't be bothered, not even with my friends. There's a lot of things going through my head. Just wanna go home and go to bed. It’s that time of the month don’t even mess with me. –Angie Stone We’re going to talk about periods. You know because it’s so Christmas-y and Holiday-ish. I can’t remember why I started thinking about this, likely a random conversation with a friend of mine. But here is. Ms. Stone in all her bluesy, neo-soul wisdom, speaks the truth. I loathe getting my period. I loathe it. I hate the cramps, the bloating, the gas, the tampons, the pads, and the just the all around grossness of it all. Please do not get me started on the scorching case of PMS. Because I have no idea what the fuck is up with that. Why I am so...

I can wash out forty-four pairs of socks and have 'em on the line. I can starch and iron two dozen shirts ‘fore you can count from one to nine. I can slip up a great big dip up of lard from a drippings can. Throw it in the skillet, do my shopping be back before it melts in the pan. 'Cause I'm a woman W O M A N. I'll say it again. – Peggy Lee Do we remember this song? Or better yet the 1 980’s Enjoli commercial , based on the Peggy Lee song? She does it all. She brings home the bacon, fries it up in the pan. And never, ever let’s you forget you’re a man. I feel like this image of women has made it hard to be a woman. I know it’s dated. But how dated is it really? I think that there are a lot of men who want a woman like this, and I think there are just as many women to strive to be that woman, and are very hard on themselves when they fall short. Jesus. I am no feminist. But I don’t think I was put on earth to be a man’s “helpmate” either. Last week, after a 4-we...

Three is a magic number, yes it is, it's a magic number. Somewhere in the ancient, mystic trinity you get three as a magic number. The past and the present and the future. Faith and hope and charity, the heart and the brain and the body, give you three as a magic number. It takes three legs to make a tri-pod or to make a table stand. It takes three wheels to make a vehicle called a tricycle. Every triangle has three corners, every triangle has three sides, no more, no less, you don't have to guess. When it's three you can see it's a magic number. A man and a woman had a little baby (yes, they did). They had three in the family, and that's a magic number. 3-6-9, 12-15-18, 21-24-27, 30. 3-6-9, 12-15-18, 21-24-27, 30. – Three, the Magic Number; School House Rock Do you remember School House Rock ? I LOVED School House Rock. My favorites always had to do with Grammar or History. I was never ever a fan of the math songs. As long as I can remember mathematics has p...

I am in group therapy . I’ve been in group therapy for almost 2 years now. And honestly, I look forward to it. It’s nice to speak with people who are not my friends. It is weird though, we’re not friends, but I feel like we know each other really well. During that time, I have learned a lot about myself, and what I have to say. Most importantly, I have been able to sit and listen to what’s going on in the lives of other people. Turns out, that all of us, regardless of what it looks like on the surface, have some heavy stuff to deal with. Of course I knew that, but hearing it has given me a lot of perspective, which is good. While I enjoy Group and think it has been valuable to me, occasionally, my own stuff gets in the way and start feeling like I shouldn’t be there. No one has said anything. No one has made me feel any particular way. I have always felt welcomed. It’s just me. It doesn’t help that everyone in my group is a Professional person, and I’m still finding my way. I’...

Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi. (I show not your face but your heart's desire) Mirror, mirror, on the wall, Can't you show me tall and slim? Mirror, mirror, on the wall, Must I look so bloody grim? Mirror, mirror, on the wall, You're distorting my poor waist! Mirror, mirror, on the wall, And why the heck am I defaced? Mirror, mirror, on the wall, Why have I a double chin? Mirror, mirror, on the wall, And what's the stupid, goofy grin? Mirror, mirror, on the wall, Pointless asking ‘Who’s the fairest? – More bloody likely, 'Who’s the queerest? Now look, I paid a big bucks for thee, So why can’t you be nice to me? Mirror, mirror, on the wall, Who’s the fairest of them all? Me, you say? Ah, that's bette r – Mirror, mirror, bloody fibber! –Mirror Mirror Bloody Fibber, by Mark Slaughter Just a short post or maybe just a random musing. (That’s what most posts are aren’t they?) Anyway I’m in a weird mood, sort of contemplative. A little blue even. La...

Come and play. Everything's A-OK. Friendly neighbors there, that's where we meet, Can you tell me how to get…How to get to Sesame Street? It's a magic carpet ride, every door will open wide to happy people like you--Happy people like…What a beautiful…Sunny Day, sweeping' the clouds away. On my way to where the air is sweet, can you tell me how to get…How to get to Sesame Street? - Sesame Street Lyrics Give me a break. Can someone just please…sigh. Ok. So earlier this week, a friend of mine posted his frustration at the notion of the possible nuptials of Bert and Ernie. I swear to you, I thought he was just being a jerk, and I told him so. Then I heard on the news, that it was a real movement. Ummm kids? Bert and Ernie are puppets. They aren’t gay or straight for that matter. They are felt. Perhaps the Pro Felt or the Anti Felt people would like to chime in on this serious issue. The purpose of Bert and Ernie is to show two friends, two best friends, learni...

Mother you had me, but I never had you. I wanted you but you didn’t want me. So I got to tell you goodbye. Goodbye. - “Mother”, John Lennon Casey Anthony. What can you say about this case, where, frankly, no one won? Here is what we know, the Anthony’s last saw their grand-daughter in June of 2008. They would not see their daughter or grand-daughter for a month. During that same time Casey’s car was picked up and there was a noticeable smell of something decomposing coming from the trunk. Cindy Anthony, mother to Casey and grandmother to Caylee, pushed and got her daughter to admit that Caylee had been missing for 31 days. Cindy called 911 to report her granddaughter missing, also reporting the smell of death in the car. We know that when questioned, Casey lied repeatedly to her family and to authorities about just about everything. When asked who had her child, she said Zenida Fernandez Gonzalez. Lie. When asked where she worked, she said Universal Studios. Lie. Further,...

I look into the window of my mind, reflections of the fears I know I've left behind. I step out of the ordinary; I can feel my soul ascending. I am on my way, can't stop me now and you can do the same. What have you done today to make you feel proud? It's never too late to try. What have you done today to make you feel proud? You could be so many people, if you make that break for freedom. What have you done today to make you feel proud? – Proud (Theme to the Biggest Loser, sung by Heather Small) The Biggest Loser . I am assuming that everyone is familiar with this show. No? Well let me explain. The premise is that obese people will try out for a chance to be on this show and get the help that they need to lose as much weight as they can. During the time you are on the show you live on a ranch in California, with access to personal trainers who basically kick your ass. If you get chosen you have to leave your friends, family, job, work etc for around 5 months. For ma...

No song for this post... Sometimes I do things or say things and as soon as I’ve done them or said them I think about it and regret it instantly. This weekend, while out to dinner with a friend, I noticed our waitress. She sort of reminded me of the type of guy I like. (She really did) so, thinking I was being cute, I texted a friend of mine—a lesbian—and said I think I have girl crush on my waitress. Ha Ha. Right? Wrong. The next day she, rightfully, lit into me. And I deserve it. I’m not a Lesbian. It was just a joke to me. But it’s not funny… it’s someone’s life. Being Gay or Lesbian, is often a struggle for people. I shouldn’t be making a joke of it. Shame on me. Speaking up for the rights of Gays and Lesbians is a choice for me. Not a choice for them. I ought to know better. I love NYC. However, NYC is not for everyone. Too many people have a hard time here. Few weeks ago I saw Russell Simmons on the street. He was riding in the back seat of car so exclusive an...

“Your cheatin' heart will make you weep, you'll cry and cry, and try to sleep, but sleep won't come, the whole night through, your cheatin' heart, will tell on you. When tears come down, like falling rain, you'll toss around, and call my name, you'll walk the floor, the way I do, your cheatin' heart, will tell on you. Your cheatin' heart, will pine some day, and crave the love, you threw away, the time will come, when you'll be blue, your cheatin' heart, will tell on you.” -Hank Williams Good old Hank. There are lots of songs about cheating, doing the cheating, being cheating on, and the aftermath of cheating. Lots of vengeance songs out there too. What do we think of cheaters? When the scandal of Arnold Schwarzenegger first broke a few weeks ago, I thought to myself, Arnold is a dirty pigman. I wasn’t surprised, but just sort of disgusted. This man not only cheated on his wife Maria Shriver with their live in domestic worker, but als...

Gather around Boys and Girls, for April has a story. New York City is the type of place where something happens every single moment. Many of those moments happen on the subway. This is one of the reasons why I love love love NY. Earlier this week I was watching CNN and the reprehensible Paris Hilton was on with her mother, Kathy. (I really dislike Paris) Piers Morgan asked Miss Hilton what her empire consists of and she ran down the list. Fashion, House wares blah blah blah. As I turned the channel I thought to myself, who on earth would buy anything Paris Hilton. Well kids, this morning on the subway I had a Paris Hilton bag sighting. It was a white messenger type bag with PARIS HILTON written over and over in multicolored grafiti style. “WTF”? I said to myself and decided to take a picture to share with all of you. The problem was that this woman wearing the offending bag was kind of far and at a strange angle. The thing is, when you are being a judgmental picture takin...

“…It's a nice day to start again. It's a nice day for a white wedding. It's a nice day to start again.” – Billy Idol, White Wedding I know, so obvious right? With so many real wedding songs to choose from and I choose Billy Idol’s White Wedding. A. I loved that song as a kid. B. When I was thinking that I might write about the “Wedding of the Century” I kept hearing that song. So, sorry… I’m weird about celebrity things. I straddle the line of caring and not caring. I mostly tend to lean towards NOT caring. I don’t read People. I don’t read Life & Style. I seldom watch Extra or ET. I will admit to watching the red carpet of award shows. I love the fashion show that accompanies these shows. This leaves me to the biggest fashion show of them all. The Wedding of Kate and Wills. Listen, I wouldn’t go as far as to say that I care, but I am very very interested. So maybe I do care a little. This is what I wanted to see, in order of importance. 1. The Wedding D...

“…How many dollars, how many sales, how many liars, how many tales, how many insults must you take in this one life? I'm in prison most of the day. So please excuse me, if I get this way. But I have got obligations to keep. So be very careful when you speak. Don't talk to me about work. Please don't talk to me about work. I'm up to my eyeballs in dirt, with work, with work. Please don't talk to me about work. Don't you talk to me about work. I'm up to my eyeballs in dirt. With work, with work.” –Lou Reed (Don’t Talk To Me About Work) Today is “Professional Administrative Professional’s Day. And I am an Administrative “professional”. Also known as a Professional Lackey. I had the best conversation with a coworker of mine today. Let’s call her…The Italian Spitfire. (She is really one of my favs) We instant message all day long. It’s amazing that we get any work done. I heart her. It started like this: The Italian Spitfire (TIS): Happy Admin Profess...

Recently, Blogger extraordinaire Stephanie Faris posted about young adult Novels . This got me thinking of my very favorite: Sweet Valley High series. Oh how I loved those books. I started reading about them when I was about 11 or 12. I devoured them until I was about 14 or so. I just outgrew them. When I started to write this post, I did a little googling. (I love to Google) The last book I remember reading was the 25th installment in the series, “Nowhere to Run”, which came out in 1986. According to the Sweet Valley website, there are a total of 143 books, not including several “Special Editions”. Apparently I gave in to smut pretty early on. I passed on the first 25 novels to my younger cousin. She had just moved to Florida from Haiti and I just new she would love t hem as much as I did. Of course she did. I think I tried to read some of the Sweet Valley High College books, but by then I had moved on to Jackie Collins . Who cares what Liz and Jess are up to, if you can...

Elizabeth Taylor died today. And I feel… a way about it. Not really devastated or anything. But more like… it’s the end of something. The end of an era. (I don’t like that phrase, it is cliché and kind of boring, but it fits.) Like so many other things, they don’t make stars like they used to. Elizabeth Taylor was one of those stars with the untouchable glamour. There was a level of class that you could just see. You looked at her and knew that she was special. She was clearly beautiful, clearly talented, but there was something else about her. She had “legend” written all over her. When do you suppose the legend status got attributed to her? National Velvet ? Butterfield 8 ? North & South ? The Simpson’s ? (Simpson’s, she did the voice of Maggie) So basically somewhere between National Velvet and The Simpson’s she became THE legendary, Dame Elizabeth Taylor. I suppose the question is what makes a legend? Do you have to have been in the game (whatever that game i...

Life sans Facebook and television is hard. I couldn’t really decide what to give up for Lent, so I gave up both. No Facebook and no TV till Easter. I have not had the burst of creativity or desire to be productive at home, or at work for that matter. But it’s only been 4 days. 36 days left. So what have been doing? Ummm not too much, I’ve been on the Internet…a lot. I’m not really looking for anything special, I’ve been looking at scrapbooking stuff and looking for and reading other blogs. I stumbled across Steph in the City . I used to read Steph’s blog on MySpace . (Remember MySpace?) Steph recently had a blog that suggested if you want people to read your blog then you have to read other blogs and comment on them. Totally brill Stephanie. So I’ve been doing that. Reading and commenting other blogs. According to my Blogger stats, I’ve gotten more traffic. Not more followers, but more traffic. I’ve also been reading the archives of An American Mom in Paris . Dear, de...

It’s Lent time again. For those of you who are not Catholic , Lent is the period of time from Ash Wednesday through Easter where each person makes some kind of personal sacrifice. According to the Bible this is the same 40 days and 40 nights where Jesus fasted, and prayed in the desert. I grew up Catholic. I got baptized, received Holy Communion , Confession and Confirmation . I spent 12 long years being educated in the Catholic school system. So I guess that makes me Catholic. I guess. Here is the thing, when I go to church I don’t feel much of anything and I think that I should. This has been an issue for me for years now. I believe that religion should provide you will a sense of peace and contentment. I’m also a pretty leftist person. Meaning—I believe in a woman’s right to choose. I believe that Lesbians and Gays have a place in our society and should be treated just like everyone else. I think that priests and nuns should be able to get married, not necessarily to ea...

Wishin', and hopin', and thinkin', and prayin', Planning and dreamin' each night of his charms. That won't get you into his arms. So if you’re looking for love you can share, all you gotta to is hold him, and kiss him, and love him. And show him that you care. Show him that you care, just for him. Do the things that he likes to do. Wear your hair just for him, 'cause, you won't get him, thinkin' and a prayin', Wishin' and hopin'.'Cause wishin', and hopin', and thinkin', and prayin', Planning and dreamin' his kisses will start. That won't get you into his heart! So if you're thinking how great true love is, all you gotta to is hold him, and kiss him, and squeeze him, and love him. Yeah, just do it! And after you do, you will be his. You gotta show him that you care just for him. Do the things that he likes to do. Wear your hair just for him, 'cause,You won't get him, thinkin' and a prayin'...

There is a reason why I keep this little blogging project of mine a secret. How could voice my thought on things that might hurt people’s feelings? Seriously. I have a good friend. Who is a single mother to the yummiest baby ever. For lots of reasons, after she had her baby, she moved back into her mother’s apt. The moment this happened I was concerned that it would go wrong. First of all her mother is no longer in her bedroom. My friend and child are in there. Granny’s out in the living room. Grandma cooks, does laundry and takes care of baby. All the time. My friend often goes off and does what she wants, leaving baby behind. Now let me very clear. She is NOT shaking her thing, nor is she drinking or drugging. She is running errands, going shopping etc. Sometimes she goes scrapbooking with me—day crops, weekend crops etc. Basically doing all the things she did BEFORE she had a kid. I don’t have a child and I don’t know the ins and the outs, but I don’t understand th...

Everybody has a beast of burden. (I was going to share Beast of Burden---but the words don’t really work with this.) Mine is food. What IS it about Food that makes me so out of control? I suppose if I knew then I wouldn’t be out of control. And knowing me, it wasn’t food it would be something else. So Food it is. I meant to get to a weight watchers meeting this weekend to speak with my old Leader and ask her to explain this new Points Plus plan. I can’t seem to get it together. But I have been “watching” and I have lost some 6 lbs it looks like so that is good. It’s not enough but I am thankful that my watching has resulted in some activity. I was reading Olivia’s blog and she has some rewards set up for herself. I was thinking of incorporating that as an incentive for myself. For now I might just use hers and tweak it as I go along. Her ideas are great, but they may not work for me and my lifestyle. Especially that I don’t work out. Yet. I will. But I’m not ready yet. ...

I’m sick. Or almost sick. I’ve been battling a cold or something for weeks now. I have an ear infection. WTF? Why do I have an ear infection? Last year, at some point in October I think, I had an ear infection AND whopping cough. Apparently I have the immune system of a Victorian era toddler. I hate being sick. Everyone at work is sick. We’ve got strep throat, staph infections, flus, colds, sinus and ear infections. I swear I work in a Petri dish. I hate being sick. On the upshot I haven't eaten much.

I want you the right way. I want you, but I want you to want me too. 
 Want you to want me, baby. 
Just like I want you. I give you all the love I want in return, sweet darlin'. But half a love is all I feel. It's too bad, it's too sad. You don't want me now, but I'm gonna change your mind. Someway, somehow, oh baby. 
I want you the right way, I want you. But I want you to want me too. Want you to want me, baby just like I want you. This one way love is just fantasy, oh sugar to share is precious, pure and fair. 
Don't play with something you should cherish for life, oh baby. 
Don't you wanna care? Ain’t it lonely out there? 
 I want you the right way, 
 I want you, 
but I want you to want me too. Want you to want me, baby, just like I want you. I want you the right way I want you, 
But I want you to want me too. 
Want you to want me, baby Just like I want you. – Marvin Gaye “I want you, that’s what I want.” Said Big to Carrie. (They showed SATC , The M...

(Come on…) Didn't I make you feel like you were the only man, well yeah, An' didn't I give you nearly everything that a woman possibly can? Honey, you know I did! And each time I tell myself that I, well I think I've had enough, But I'm gonna show you, baby, that a woman can be tough. I want you to come on, come on, come on, come on and take it,Take another little piece of my heart now, baby, (break a..) Break another little bit of my heart now, darling, yeah. (have a..) Hey! Have another little piece of my heart now, baby, yeah. You know you got it if it makes you feel good, Oh yes indeed. - Janis Joplin I was exited and nervous to see him. I heard the doorbell ring and I went to answer it… my heart did that thing. The fluttering, floating thing. He looked different. Older, puffier, grayer. His teeth… the smile I loved was different. But he looked at me and looked happy to see me. That is undeniable. He was happy to see me. As happy as I was to see him? ...

I wanna do bad things with you. When you came in the air went out. And every shadow filled up with doubt. I don't know who you think you are, But before the night is through,I wanna do bad things with you. I'm the kind to sit up in his room. Heart sick an' eyes filled up with blue. I don't know what you've done to me, But I know this much is true: I wanna do bad things with you. When you came in the air went out. And all those shadows there filled up with doubt. I don't know who you think you are, But before the night is through, I wanna do bad things with you. I wanna do real bad things with you. Ow, ooh. I don't know what you've done to me, But I know this much is true: I wanna do bad things with you. I wanna do real bad things with you .- Bad Things; Jace Everett (True Blood theme song) While I do have a few relationship and weight loss woes to discuss, I am at work and can’t really get into all of that. Yes, I am taking the time from my “busy” wo...