Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Guess who's back, back again? April's back, tell a friend.

Guess who's back, back again. Shady's back, tell a friend. Guess who's back, guess who's back, Guess who's back. Guess who's back? -Emenim

I know. MIA for 5 months. Where have I been? I’ve been here and there. Lurking. Watching.  Not a whole lot to say. When you don’t have anything worth listening to, in my opinion, you should say nothing.  Clearly not everyone feels that way, based on what I’ve been reading. 

Weight Loss:   Laughable really.  A part of the reason why I have opted to say nothing is because I’ve been reading other blogs.  I have felt…dumbfounded  that people who have been struggling with weight loss for years and are disappointed in themselves, don’t  seem to want to DO anything about it.  What is worse, I think, are the followers who are co-signing this behavior.  While I am all for forgiving ones self, there is way too much talk of “forgiveness”.   

Listen, I know all about failed weight loss attempts.  I have tried and FAILED epically at weight loss for years.  I get it. This is our thing, our cross to bear, if you will.  I get why this annoys Allan so much. Really, I do. I don’t agree with his approach, but I get why this pisses him off.  While, I have no desire to call people out by name how you deal with your weight loss or lack therein, is up to you.  However, the idea that I keep failing at something?  Repeatedly?  Makes me sick.  Sick enough that I don’t want to share my failures with the world. I don’t get it. Why would you talk about something you suck at over and over?  Get your shit together and either stop or try harder, privately.   

Starting Monday, Allan has a challenge coming up.  I’m signing up.  No declarations of “I can do it”. “My time is now” etc.   I LOATHE what I look like. I detest how I feel.  I’m sick to death of looking at other people who are healthy and feeling jealous.  I feel slow, and tired and old and ugly and unhealthy.  I’m OVER being a chubby chaser magnet.  Enough is enough.