Saturday, April 30, 2011

It's a nice day for a white wedding...

“…It's a nice day to start again. It's a nice day for a white wedding. It's a nice day to start again.” – Billy Idol, White Wedding

I know, so obvious right? With so many real wedding songs to choose from and I choose Billy Idol’s White Wedding. A. I loved that song as a kid. B. When I was thinking that I might write about the “Wedding of the Century” I kept hearing that song. So, sorry…

I’m weird about celebrity things. I straddle the line of caring and not caring. I mostly tend to lean towards NOT caring. I don’t read People. I don’t read Life & Style. I seldom watch Extra or ET. I will admit to watching the red carpet of award shows. I love the fashion show that accompanies these shows. This leaves me to the biggest fashion show of them all. The Wedding of Kate and Wills. Listen, I wouldn’t go as far as to say that I care, but I am very very interested. So maybe I do care a little. This is what I wanted to see, in order of importance.

1. The Wedding Dress
2. Wedding Guest Hats (How is it possible that I can't find a decent link for this?

That’s it. I wanted the dress to be amazing and it was. It was also exquisite and very Grace Kelly-esqe. Sarah Burton of The House of Alexander McQueen did not disappoint. Lee would be proud. As an amateur of fashion, I’m sorry he’s not here to see what his protégé created. She did an amazing job.

I am not a fan of weddings. Sure, weddings are great venues for the expression of all the love and joy and love and more of that damn joy that is supposed to exist. I’m not quite dead inside yet. I just find them to be long and boring. Even while I watching the ceremony on television (oh TV how I missed you!) I drifted in and out. Bor-ing!

While I am not a huge fan of weddings, let me clear and say that I LOVE wedding dresses. I have a picture of my dream dress. Likely never to be worn but it’s beautiful. Carolina Herrera. 2004 Spring Collection. Classy yet risky. Edgy yet pretty. Perfectly perfect in every way. Badass yet appropriate.

Can we talk about the hats at this wedding? I love hats and even more, I love the fascinator. What? You don’t know what a fascinator is? Please let me… A fascinator is a sort of a type hat. Usually just perched a top your head. They look like this:

Don’t ask me why, but I love them. I’m dying for a reason to wear one. There is no occasion coming up on my social calendar that warrants a fascinator. Can I wear one to work?

I wonder at what point I am going get sick of all this Royal Wedding talk? The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge (The Queen gave them their new tittles. Meh. I like Princess Kate. ) have been married for about 24 hours now, and I am starting to have enough of them.

Operative word being “Starting”.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Don't you talk to me about work...

“…How many dollars, how many sales, how many liars, how many tales, how many insults must you take in this one life? I'm in prison most of the day. So please excuse me, if I get this way. But I have got obligations to keep. So be very careful when you speak. Don't talk to me about work. Please don't talk to me about work. I'm up to my eyeballs in dirt, with work, with work. Please don't talk to me about work. Don't you talk to me about work. I'm up to my eyeballs in dirt. With work, with work.” –Lou Reed (Don’t Talk To Me About Work)

Today is “Professional Administrative Professional’s Day. And I am an Administrative “professional”. Also known as a Professional Lackey. I had the best conversation with a coworker of mine today. Let’s call her…The Italian Spitfire. (She is really one of my favs) We instant message all day long. It’s amazing that we get any work done. I heart her. It started like this:

The Italian Spitfire (TIS): Happy Admin Professionals Day. (Smiley face not smiling but looking stern)
April: Oh geez. Well back at you.
TIS: Blah. Thanks.
A: Oh TIS. Really? This is US? This is what we do?
TIS: I don’t think it gets more boring than that.

And she starts with an imagined conversation. (We do a lot of that. It amuses us.)

Imagined person #1: Hi, what do you do?
Imagined person #2: I’m an administrative professional.
IP#1: Oh, what does that mean?
IP#2: It means I am a Lackey.
April: Ha! Professional lackey-ism
TIS: We are professional in what we lack, and we lack the following:
1. Good pay;
2. Good vacation;
3. Mental stimulus;
4. Proper recognition for basically wiping peoples asses for them.

She goes on, while lamenting our sad situation, to tell me about some people her husband has recently met. Actors, music teachers, store owners, writers. Nary an administrative professional in the bunch. I know very few people who started out as AA’s who really wanted to be an AA. Administrative work is the classic default job. Can’t find a job in the field that you want? Take an admin job. Every higher up needs someone to do their bidding for them. Long ago women had few choices. Teacher. Secretary. Nun. Wife/Mother. That’s it. However, those days are gone. Women have their choice of careers. We may still get 70 cents on the dollar for the privilege of doing the same job that a man does, but we can be whatever we want.

Random tid bit: The only industries where women make more money than men, is in Porn and Modeling. Yes it’s true. And both industries are run mostly, by men. So the lesson is that as a woman you are rewarded for being objectified. By men. Nice.

This is not a complaint about the people I work for. I’m actually extremely lucky to have decent bosses. And let me tell you now that I know it. I support two people; Charlie, a kind hearted curmudgeon, for whom technology is his nemesis (I have to talk him through printing documents. No. I’m not kidding). We are about to switch email platforms and I am scared about what this means for the quality of my life at the work place. My other boss is Laureen, an also kind hearted, yet neurotic woman with a flair for fashion and unfortunately a problem with flatulence. While they both can drive me crazy, neither one is mean spirited or nasty, and for that I am grateful. I’ve been in exactly the opposite situation and that is a breakdown waiting to happen. So Charlie, The Technophobe and Laureen, The Flatulent are not the problem. I am the problem.

It has nothing to do with the people that I work for, but more so WHAT, I do for living. There is NO fulfillment in it for me. None. Nada. Rien. I know that if I don’t like it I should change it. And I am doing my best.

But today on this, Administrative Professionals day, it is just a reminder of what I hate about my day to day. While I am certain that the change is coming, I wish it would just hurry up already.