There is a reason why I keep this little blogging project of mine a secret. How could voice my thought on things that might hurt people’s feelings? Seriously.
I have a good friend. Who is a single mother to the yummiest baby ever. For lots of reasons, after she had her baby, she moved back into her mother’s apt. The moment this happened I was concerned that it would go wrong. First of all her mother is no longer in her bedroom. My friend and child are in there. Granny’s out in the living room. Grandma cooks, does laundry and takes care of baby. All the time. My friend often goes off and does what she wants, leaving baby behind. Now let me very clear. She is NOT shaking her thing, nor is she drinking or drugging. She is running errands, going shopping etc. Sometimes she goes scrapbooking with me—day crops, weekend crops etc. Basically doing all the things she did BEFORE she had a kid.
I don’t have a child and I don’t know the ins and the outs, but I don’t understand this. Yesterday she and her mother got into a tiff about something. Money. Let the record also show that she pays rent and other bills in the house in addition to giving her mother some cash now and then. She is no deadbeat. Her mother called her selfish and she of course got angry and defensive…here is the thing. While maybe she was not being selfish THIS time, I find that her behavior is often very self absorbed. Further I’m not surprised that this hasn’t happened before or more often. I wonder if the reason that she got so angry is that somewhere deep down inside, she is knows that that she is sometimes selfish. SMH.
She loves her kid. She is in love with that baby. I am as sure about that as I am about anything. She loves being a Mommy. But she doesn’t seem to want to toss everything else aside to be his Mother. Isn’t that what happens? When you become a mother, your needs, and desires come second don’t they?