Friday, December 31, 2010

Fathers be good to your daughters

Fathers be good to your daughters. Daughters will love like you do. Girls become lovers, who turn into mothers. So mothers be good to your daughters too. Oh you see that skin, it's the same she's been standing in. Since the day, she saw him walking away. Now she's left cleaning up the mess he made...On behalf of every man looking out for every girl. You are the god and the weight of the world. So fathers be good to your daughters. Daughters will love like you do. Girls become lovers who turn into mothers. So mothers be good to your daughters too. -John Mayer

Profound words from Sharon Stone? Surprisingly yes. It’s New Year’s Eve and I’m home. Making cookies and watching Extra!, something that I never ever watch. Sharon Stone being interviewed by Mario Lopez and she was talking about her father, about how great he was. She mentioned a lot of things, most of them about the way her father treated her. The kind things he did, the caring things he did. What struck me about what she was saying was: The way you treat your daughter will determine that type of man that she chooses. Ok, I need you stay with me; I promise this will all connect. I watched a documentary, Pimps up, Hos down. (Seriously, stay with me, it will make sense in a second) A pimp is asked the question, “What makes a good ho?” Pimp is thinking and thinking and he finally says, that the best ho’s are girls with low self-esteem. He goes on to say that someone whose father, uncle etc has hurt her in some way, sexual abuse etc. Those are the “best” ho’s. Clearly the lesson in this is exactly what Stone says. The way that the father figure treats girls affect their relationships with men.

Now, I’ve been in and out of therapy since I was in my mid-twenties, and I watch Oprah. This is hardly earth shattering news to me. I know that I have I known this for quite some time. However, this really stuck me. My father, while he was a good provider (I can honestly say that I lacked for nothing) he was just absent. In the picture, yet somehow out of it. I want to be fair, he taught me how to ride a bike. I wouldn’t have learned without him. But other than that? And I’m really trying hard think, he wasn’t the nurturing type. He just wasn’t. He loved me, and still does, but he just couldn’t be bothered. And I can’t say that he really knows me.

I grew up watching my parents interacting with each other. And I on some level I think I knew it was toxic, but when you are kid, you just accept things as they come. They fought a lot. He wasn’t a gentlemen, he didn’t open doors, hold my mother’s hand, or give her gifts.

I have dated piece of shit guys for as long as I could remember. None of them have treated me the way I wanted. And it has been sad. It’s been sad because I have truly loved these men. Each one more than the last. But I have been afraid of being alone, being rejected so I never said anything. I never made demands. And I have suffered because of it.

There are so many things that I want for myself in 2011. Like what?

I want to:
Loose weight. (Serious, major weight);
Get better at seeing projects through;
Not give up on things;
Move out of my parents place
Become a better student.

More than anything, though, I want to learn how to tell people how I want to be treated. I want to command respect.

Wishing all us, happiness, love, respect, good health and success in 2011.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Président Wyclef Jean: Désastre complaint et total pour Haïti?

I wrote this back in August of 2010 and just never posted or sent it anywhere...

Wyclef Jean, Haiti’s much-loved son has declared his candidacy for President of Haiti. Let me say first that I am not a political scientist nor am I an economist. What I am however, is a Haitian-American who loves Haiti. The January 2010 earthquake that flattened much of Haiti, displaced millions, and killed countless people has been a source of great pain for all of us who are of Haitian decent.

The obvious question is what can Wyclef Jean actually DO for Haiti? I’m afraid that the answer is not very much. I am not questioning Mr. Jean’s intent, intellect or integrity. I am merely pointing what should have been obvious to Jean and his advisors.

He has no real solid significant business experience. Like say a Jay Z or P. Diddy. Both of whom run successful, profitable companies. What is it about Jean which makes him qualified for such an enormous undertaking? Nothing. Yele (Jean’s organization) has had run ins with IRS. Jean, personally, owes the IRS 2.1 million dollars. THIS is who should run Haiti? Someone who is unable to handle his personal finances? The finances of his non-profit organization? Why are the standards of Haiti so low? Does Haiti not deserve the very best? Finally? Wyclef is the BEST that we can do?

With all due respect to Mr. Jean, he is not fluent in the languages of Haiti. He does not speak, read or write in French and his Creole is rudimentary at best. How will he communicate with his cabinet? The situation in Haiti cannot wait to be dealt with while her leader participates in Rosetta Stone. Mr. Jean’s assertion that Haiti’s past President’s have been French speakers who have not accomplished much is well taken. Haiti has a long history of corrupt governments, taking advantage of their power and access. I also agree that Haitians should speak English. English is the official language of the world. However, and while it pains me to say this, Mr. Jean himself, is not articulate. Listening to him engage with CNN’s Wolf Blizter was, frankly, embarrassing.

Haiti’s problems are real. And they are serious. This goes way beyond, Haitian pride. Every single Haitian person felt a swell of pride when the Fugees won their first Grammy. It was empowering to see Wyclef accepting his award wrapped in the Haitian Flag. However, let me clear and say that in my opinion, running for, and becoming, President is not an extension of “repping” for Haiti.


Haiti is plagued with social, political, economical and environmental problems. If that was not bad enough, January’s earthquake has left the island crippled. What Haiti needs is someone with real experience. Someone well versed in economics, business or law. As important as music and art are to the identity of a country, music won’t get Haiti out of the mess that she is in. Mr. Jean’s popularity is not the answer.

While debating this very issue with a friend of mine, she pointed out that two recent US presidents have been an actor and a peanut farmer. Prior to becoming President, Jimmy Carter, served as a Georgia State Senator, and went on to serve as Governor of the same state. Prior to his presidency, Mr. Regan served as Vice-President and President of the Screen Actors Guild (SAG). He then went on to become Governor of California. It is suffice to say that these were not your ordinary peanut farmer and actor.

Haiti has seen its share of “traditional” politicians, which haven’t worked. The presidents of Haiti have had had various types backgrounds, from Agronomists to Economists from Doctors to Ne'er-do-wells.

This is it. This is Haiti’s chance to make a fresh start. This Haiti’s opportunity, to finally make her way to social and economical success. Though it might not appear to be so, there are rules to declaring ones candidacy in Haiti. You have to prove that you have been a resident of Haiti for at least five years. Has Jean been en residence? He has not. While I am sure he will have people to vouch for his residence, should we really start out Haiti’s new start on the wrong foot?

If Mr. Jean truly wants what is best for Haiti, if he will bow out gracefully and participate in the process at a respectable distance

Friday, November 5, 2010

Time goes by so quickly doesn’t it? And I am likely the worst blogger ever. I never come on here and each time I do, I need to reset my passwords, because I can’t remember… oh well..

So this is my latest. Me and him. Well, so I sent him that email. And a few days after I posted, he started calling me. Calling me at work, calling my cell. He would do this every single day. At first it made me sick. Like literally sick to my stomach. Then it made me full of anxiety. Like, what should I do? Should I pick up? Should I call him back? After weeks of this; I called him. And well friends, again, it got ugly.

The main problem from my perspective is that , this man has never truly loved me. Never. And I have known it from the beginning. I don’t know why, but I opted to “stay” and try really really hard to make him love me. To make him see that I was the right person for him and that he was really missing something special. I also could never seem to get the words out… to tell him what I wanted and how I wanted it. Eventually it just deteriorated into a sexual relationship. And I suppose after ahem 9, almost 10 years. April was starting to see the light and I decided this was going to be one part of my life that I had control over.

Our conversation did not go well. He was angry and I was… pathetic. He spoke harshly to me and I cried… I also told him that I was sorry that I had ever met him… and for some reason this made him really angry. He told me that he was “going to make me listen” and that I was making “the real” him come out. And that he was going to tell me the truth about a few things. This frightened me. I was afraid to hear whatever it was that he was going to say… Maybe that he had never loved, me that I was stupid fat ugly easy bitch. That he had never been true or faithful and that I was fool. I knew for a fact that even if I had been thinking those very same things, hearing him say it would take me to a place that I would never recover from. I hung on him, and he proceeded to call me back over and over again… I spoke to him one last time and he told me he was coming to him home to talk to me. Here is the thing… I know this man… I do. And at his core. He is a selfish lazy man. I knew that he wouldn’t come. He has never come through. Why start now? Sure enough, he didn’t come. And I have to tell you that I didn’t expect him too.

Sick fact: I was disappointed. I knew that if I did see him I would get to touch him and kiss him again.

Once again, I sent him an email:

I hate what happened today. You were ready to hurt me on purpose. Please don't call me anymore. Please.

I don’t think I will hear from him again. Shrinker thinks otherwise. So does group. I have my doubts. My theory is that he can’t be bothered to hunt me down and seek me out. I’m not that important. His theory is that it’s not about me it’s about him and his feelings. He also thinks that he might “do something” to me. Again, I don’t think so. Shrinker man also thinks that somewhere deep down inside, I WANT this man to hurt me.

Wouldn’t that be something?

Sunday, October 3, 2010

I'm just sad...

When we saw our heroine (me), she was contemplating telling TG that their time in the sun at set… let’s catch up.

So I knew that I had a really hard time letting go of him. Let us be clear, not him letting go of me. That I knew was not a problem. That somehow made it even sadder.

This is the email that I sent him on September 21st, 2010. So what was the reason for the email? This is so stupid but here goes. I was driving home and we were talking, and he mentioned that I had told him that I wanted to talk to him. Which I had. But when he pushed and wanted to know why I wanted to talk to him and I couldn’t bring myself to say. I told him that I really wanted to see him to talk to him. I then told him I was approaching his exit and could stop of to see him then. He then started to make excuses about not really having time or being busy. And it got sort of ugly. Not bad ugly just not cool. I hung up on him and he called back etc. The next day I sent him this email.

I don’t like it when we argue or have harsh words for each other. That has never been us, it should stay that way. I wanted to see you because I miss you. I really do, after all this time, I still miss you when I haven’t seen you in while. I also wanted to see you because I wanted to tell you something and have felt like what we had, or at least what I thought we had, and what you meant to me was deserving of a face to face. However, I think that this might be the better way to go about this…
L*****, our relationship has just gone on too long… I think it best if you and I no longer have any contact with each other. I know that I have sent you letters like this in the past, however I really, truly mean it this time. I could easily go on about why and how I feel etc. I used to want to try and explain it to you so that you would “get it”. But at this point it no longer matters.
I wish you happiness and peace of mind and hope that you would wish me the same. - April


That was that. He called me maybe once or twice since then. That’s it. I knew that it would be. The part of this that kills me is not that he didn’t love me. And to be honest, I don’t think he really did. The particularly painful part of all of this is that he wasn’t careful with my feelings. He didn’t care enough about me to be careful. I am forgettable to him. That is the part that feels so bad. It’s been 2 over two weeks. I know I won’t hear from him again. The pain is profound. I know it will pass, but for now I feel sad.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Losin' the lovin' feelin'...

Coming back from Shrinker man always makes me think. I imagine that that is a good thing. Meh…

This weekend I saw TG (that guy) and I told him what I had been thinking. Our time in the sun has set. (Ha! TV reference who can name it?) Anyway, his first inclination was to ask me, you found someone else? To which I answered truthfully, no. He then asked me why. I tried to explain to him, I just feel second best, and that what we have isn’t good enough. And frankly I’m a little fuzzy about what happened next. Other than we had sex… which entre nous wasn’t what it used to be. I mean it was better than a traffic jam, while having to go to the bathroom and definitely better than the best day at work, but it wasn’t as exciting, wet or juicy as it has been in the past. (Too much? Sor-ry)

Here is my problem. I love him. Or at least I used to love him. But it, he, is just not good enough. (Shrugs) He is still beautiful to look at. He still smells good. I still love his body. Etc Etc. But he is a liar, a cheater, and a good for nothing.

I think that the loving feelin’ is gone, gone, gone. Mostly anyway. I will miss him. But he’s really just no good for me. The hard part will be, making it stick this time.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Ah Push it!

Talking about my blog with my group made me feel a little bit like I should be trying to get better at it. I was asked why I hadn’t posted, and I said that I really hadn’t had a whole lot to say. Which is true. That’s the thing about my “writing”. I can only do it when I have something to say. I can’t make myself do it –this is why writing classes scare me. What happens if I don’t feel like it?

My group sometimes intimidates me. People seem to be pretty successful and smart. One of the people in my group is an attorney and I’ll admit, I googled. The work he’s done is very impressive. Exactly the type of work I would do. Work that helps. As opposed to work that takes.

I’ve discovered that my natural instinct, when I hear about the things that people do, is to feel badly about what I don’t do. Or haven’t done. I’m not one of those people who derive inspiration from the accomplishment of others. I just feel shitty about me. And frankly, it makes me want to sleep. Here is the truth of it. I don’t think I am a complete imbecile. I really don’t. But there is definitely some kind of disconnect with me. Everything seems so overwhelming. I don’t know why, but I know that it does. I thought it was my depression, but even after 90 milligrams of Cymbalta, I want sleep. According to Shrinker man, it’s just a part of my personality. And he says that I have not ever really been pushed to do well. So, I say back to him, what do I do? How do I learn to push myself? He says that’s why I’m there. And he’s going to help me. Frankly, I think that he is still figuring that out himself.

While I don’t know how to push myself, I do know this; the thing is that no one is going to do it for me. I have to do it for myself. And I find the thought of it, fucking scary as fuck. I hardly have the energy to keep my eyes open. And I have to push… myself? To “greatness”? Really? What do I want to be great in? I dunno. This also is a part of the problem. What do I want to do? How do I anticipate getting there? SMH. Not entirely sure.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

I am a bean spiller

I know I’ve been away for a while. Not that it matters. I have been thinking about coming on back, but just haven’t done it. Why not? Same usual reasons I suppose. Not much to say being one. Laziness being another.

Anyway, here is the news of the day. I've gone and done it. The thing I wanted NOT to do... I've gone and told people about this little experiment. I'm not sure how it happened; only that it did. I hoping they didn't really catch or get the name of it, but of course they did.

Today was group therapy, something I actually enjoy...however I'd much rather listen to the other people in my group talk about what's ailing them--as opposed to talk about what's ailing me. But I knew it. I even told my friend, Shrinker man is going to pick on me tonight for sure. And was I right? Uh huh...April on stage. And it wasn't bad, except somehow I said something that one of my co groupies (ha!) found "pithy" and I think something was said about writing or blogging or something, and before you know it, I'm telling them about Less of April.

The question is I suppose, is can I, will I, be honest on the off chance that they will bother? Should I go back and reread posts to make sure I haven't said anything embarrassing about my group members? I don’t think so but I do tend to go on, so maybe I did. Fuck me hard sideways. Well, is it what it is (don’t you hate that saying?)? I spilled the beans.

So read on reader. (Even if you are in my group)

Monday, June 7, 2010

I don't wanna be a stupid girl...

Maybe if I act like that, that guy will call me back. Porno Paparazzi girl, I don't wanna be a stupid girl. Baby if I act like that, flipping my blond hair back. Push up my bra like that, I don't wanna be a stupid girl

(Break it down now)

Disease's growing, it's epidemic. I'm scared that there ain't a cure. The world believes it and I'm going crazy. I cannot take any more. I'm so glad that I'll never fit in. That will never be me. Outcasts and girls with ambition. That's what I wanna see. Disasters all around, world despaired. Their only concern is ‘Will they fuck up my hair' ?–Pink, Stupid Girls

Have you ever felt stupid? I feel stu-pid! I’ve done things that I should and haven’t done things that I should. By now I should have been more in control of my life. I’m not.

Few weeks ago I got my credit report. Can you say appalling? The apt that I thought I could get this summer? Forget it. I am stuck here for another year.

I have no control over my eating. None. I just can’t seem to be around food and not eat it. I went back AGAIN, to WW. Sigh. That same week my uncle died and somehow I found myself making all the arrangements and got stressed and ate over it. My uncle’s death is just an excuse. If it weren’t him it would have been something else.

Today is Monday; Mondays are always my fresh start day. Let’s see how I do.

I found out to day that someone I have been chatting with, speaking with, having all types of phone, text, cyber sex with is married. I’m embarrassed and completely disgusted with myself. I don’t know why I didn’t know this before; I guess I choose to just ignore it.

But April feels like a dummy kids. I really really do.

Yesterday, I went over a friends place today. She shares it with her girlfriend. There was pang I felt. They clearly love each other and have created a home together. They also bought a new place in an area that I love. I want that. I want to love and be loved find happiness and create a home. Ideally with a man who loves me, but at this point I would love it for myself. At the moment, I am empty and stuck.

What do I do? How do I fix me? How do change the pattern of behaviors that have stalled my life? I’m seeing a therapist, and while it seems to be helping, I haven’t been able to get it together.

I want to be happier, healthier, more successful, more in control and it doesn’t seem to be happening.

Friday, January 29, 2010

A green Haiti is a saved Haiti, Part 3

The Greening of Haiti: L'Union Fait La Force?
The solution, in theory, is simple. Reforest Haiti. However, anyone who is seriously considering taking on a problem as vast as this one is needs to ask themselves several questions.

Can Haiti be reforested? If so how? If not, why not? Is it possible that Haiti, the poorest country in the western hemisphere, can become an example of an environmentally sustainable country? Becoming environmental sustainable is the process of making sure current processes of interaction with the environment are pursued with the idea of keeping the environment as naturally pristine as possible.

Can Haiti be “green”? How would that be possible? Where would one have to start? What would the Haitian Government’s involvement be? Can the greening of Haiti be done at the grassroots level? Greening is the practice of restoration, vitality and rejuvenation. By “greening” and “environmentally sustainable”, one needs to consider several things.

It is not enough to reforest Haiti. Systems must be put in place to offer poor Haitians an opportunity to support themselves. How? By educating and enlightening each industry, one at time. Those in field of agriculture need to be taught how to farm in an organic and a sustainable way. Those in the field of civil engineering and architecture must consider and be taught sustainable or green building. Those in the fishing industry must understand the devastating effects of over-fishing. The socio-economical and political issues that have plagued Haiti for decades would have to be addressed.

This, of course, begs the question, can all Haitian people, regardless of class and social status, come together, putting aside whatever cultural, religious, educational differences they have in order to be untied towards a healthier, stronger and truly independent Haiti? Will Haitian people be able to live up to the motto that is on the Haitian flag L'Union Fait La Force (Unity equals strength)? After all a country that depends on it neighbors for the most basic necessities of life, can not truly claim independence. On the contrary, that is the very definition of dependence.


Because of the lack of trees needed to hold soil in place, Haiti’s rural residents are vulnerable to floods. According to Haitian Ecologist Jean-Andre Victor, “When you remove vegetation, the topsoil washes away and the earth left is not capable of absorbing rainfall.” Heavy rains go hand in hand with tropical storms and hurricanes, which create huge amounts of water that cascade down mountains and through valleys, under normal circumstances, if there was sufficient top soil, this water would be absorbed into the earth. However, because the extreme deforestation, the water simply cascades into villages and towns, gathering rocks, gravel, debris and boulders along the way—ultimately taking out the people, animals and property standing in its path.

Once the water levels have fallen, the devastation awaits. Not only is there significant damage to property, there is monumental loss of life. The streets are left littered with the decaying bodies of people and animals in the hot burning sun of Haiti, which of course spreads disease. Creating yet another tragedy that Haitian people need to try and recover from, only with out the resources that it desperately needs in order to adequately recover from the chaos.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

A Green Haiti is a saved Haiti, Part 2

Haiti’s Sad Story
Haiti’s ecological situation is grave. Approximately 70% of Haiti is mountainous. This usually translates into the soil being hard to hold in place. Furthermore and even more detrimental, for every one tree that is planted, there are at least six more chopped down. At the beginning of the century, 60% of Haiti was covered with trees. As of today, a mere 2% of Haiti has trees. Haiti has been victim to uncontrolled logging and the conversion of forests into farmland. This has resulted into what can only be described as an epic environmental nightmare.

The major source of energy for many Haitians is wood, in the form of charcoal. Charcoal is accessible, easy to use and most importantly—inexpensive. For many of Haiti’s poor there is no alternative fuel source, therefore the deforestation goes on, causing an endless cycle of environmental pressures. Pressures that Haiti, a country that is already steeped in political and economical hardships, can hardly afford to sustain. The systematic deforestation of Haiti dates back to the 1600’s, French colonialists used African slaves to chop down trees in order to plant the sugar cane that would make Haiti the world’s largest producer of sugar. The production of the sugar required fuel, more wood was cut to fuel the sugar mills. Entire forests were shipped to Europe to make furniture of mahogany and dyes from cam peachy. Ironically, it is the increase in charcoal production that has lead to the declining soil fertility, resulting is low production of food crops which in turn has resulted in Haitian farmers resorting to charcoal crops as a means of guaranteeing cash income.

Over the past two decades, the charcoal and firewood consumption has more than doubled. 85 to 95% of Haiti’s energy for home and industrial use is provided by charcoal. Most Haitian people do not have access to electricity, therefore they burn tree-derived charcoal to cook in their out door kitchens. Even those few Haitians, who do have the means to have an indoor kitchen, also have an outdoor kitchen, choosing to have their food cooked outdoors, believing that their food tastes better when cooked on a charcoal stove. Convincing Haitian people that they should choose to cook, using another source of energy, is going to require a re-education of an entire country of people. No small undertaking. Cooking with charcoal is not only economical, but it also has deep cultural roots. In an effort to find a solution to the rapid deforestation of Haiti, government ministers have met to consider solutions ranging from importing propane or wood to increasing enforcement of the logging bans. Actually, Haiti, within Latin America and the Caribbean, has some of the best laws on record regarding preserving land and forests. However, due to lack of resources, these laws are rarely, if ever enforced. Thus the problem continues.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Group activity...

I had my first session of group therapy last night… It was fine. The people in the group all seem really smart and so interesting! Makes we wonder why the Shrink thinks I would be a good addition to this particular group.

There was someone in the group who was feeling guilty about complaining about their life, when there are so many people who are truly suffering in this world. This really stood out to me, reason being that I often hear the same tape in my head. ‘You have no reason to be unhappy’. You’ve been blessed, etc. Hearing someone else say it made me realize that each us is allowed to be unhappy. While it’s not cool to wallow in the misery, you are entitled to feel what you feel. Hmmm… saying that to this person was easier than applying it myself.

Well played Shrink…

Green Haiti is a saved Haiti...Part 1

I was trying to edit my post and somehow deleted it instead. Sigh... I think it might be best if I post my paper in parts. It's seem way to long to be a blog...I am second geussing this whole thing...

Man has been endowed with reason, with the power to create, so that he can add to what he's been given. But up to now he hasn't been a creator, only a destroyer. Forests keep disappearing, rivers dry up, wild life's become extinct, the climate's ruined and the land grows poorer and uglier every day.” [Uncle Vanya, 1897- Anton Chekhov]

All aboard the “Green” Train
Lately, it seems that everyone has gotten the “green” band wagon. You can’t turn the television on or open a magazine with out being accosted by and advertisement for another green product. There are websites such as www.greenhome.com and there are a surprising amount of magazines, such as, Positively Green and Organic Gardening that are dedicated to helping you live a more sustainable lifestyle. The popular cable channel HGTV, is having it’s annual dream home sweepstakes, in “which some lucky HGTV viewer” will win a fully decorated and landscaped home. Usually the home has a theme. 2009's theme was “Green”. According the HGTV website, the house will be built with environmentally friendly materials. Consideration has been paid to the construction and building materials, which are locally made and do not release dangerous fumes and can be rapidly re-grown or recycled. The home will come equipped with low energy appliances and come stocked with environmentally sound cleaning products. The water and energy consumption will be at 50% less than that of a conventional home and the air quality will be controlled by sealing off or exhausting unwanted dirt and fumes. Lastly, the landscape was designed to conserve water, as well as provide fresh herbs and produce for the homeowner. (http://www.hgtv.com/hgtv-green-home-2009-giveaway/package/index.html)

While some of the ideas and ads we are being bombarded with may seem contrived, the fact is that our planet will not be able to withstand the demands that we place her forever. The United States contains only 5% of the world’s population, but contributes 22% of the world’s carbon emissions. This means that as Americans, we contribute the equivalent of 54,000 pounds of carbon dioxide per person per year—or about five times the emissions of the average global citizen. Scientists today refer to this measure of the amount of carbon dioxide emitted during daily activities as a “carbon footprint.”
(http://www.nature.org/initiatives/climatechange/activities/art19631.html)

So indeed, we are being bombarded with all this information and perhaps some people think that it is all just doomsday predictions being made by hysterics. However, the fact is that deforestation is happening at an alarming rate around the globe.

Global Ecological Woes
Brazil, which has the largest rainforest in the world, has suffered a devastating loss of trees and natural grasses. Between May 2000 and August 2006, nearly 150,000 square kilometers of forest—an area larger than Greece—and since 1970, over 600,000 square kilometers (232,000 square miles) of Amazon rainforest have been destroyed. (www.mongabay.com) The Food and Agriculture Organization of the U.N. report states that the effects of deforestation can be classified in three ways:

1. Environmental effects: Decreased soil fertility from erosion; runoff soil into aquatic systems; premature extinction of species; loss of habitat; climate changes; release of CO2 into the atmosphere and acceleration of flooding.
2. Local social effects: Indigenous people, become victims of Transmigration—which is forced removal, and most times, lose not only their homes but also their way of life. In addition of losing all that is familiar to them, these same Indigenous people, who have spent generations living in total isolation, very often fall victim to disease after coming in to contact with logging industry employees. Soon, if the rampant deforestation that is happening does not cease, these native people will meet the same fate as their counterparts did after being “discovered” by foreigners. (i.e. Christopher Columbus)
3. Global social effects: Forest degradation and land clearance are significant causes of Forest Fires, greater chance of flooding and contaminated water sources. With the removal of so much forest and trees, the water from rains will not be absorbed, resulting in mudslides, flooding and disease.

Focus and Concentration
I am someone who, in general, cares about the world I live in and all that embraces, decent treatment of all humans and animals and being mindful of my impact on the planet. I have a faith that industrialized countries, with a sound infrastructure, will be able to make a positive impact as far as the environment is concerned. My focus and passion, however is for the country that is barely keeping itself afloat. A country, for example, like Haiti.
I am a first generation Haitian-American and I love Haiti. I can say with complete authority that my Haitian-ness makes me who I am. The older I get the more I feel as though it is in my destiny to be a part of the equation that helps save her. Haiti is in desperate need of help. Many people, I am quite sure, will say that Haiti’s environment, when compared to the socio-economic and public health issues that are plaguing Haiti, can wait. I disagree. I am convinced that once Haitian people learn to respect their environment, learn how to plan, preserve and cultivate their environment, the problems facing Haiti would not appear to be so insurmountable.
I grew up going to Haiti. I will always remember how I used to vie for that window seat; one of my most favorite parts of the plane ride to Haiti was that amazing view you got when you flew right over the island. There was such anticipation of my first glimpse of the lush green mountains and the blue, blue ocean. As the years have gone by that view has changed enormously. What was once green and lush is now brown and dry. Why? In the past 20-30 years Haiti has been gone through a radical deforestation, and today Haiti’s forests have virtually been eliminated.