Less of April...

I thought this was fitting, as I feel that Haiti is my other home.  Homeward bound, I wish I was homeward bound. Home where my thought's escaping, Home where my thought's escaping, home where my music's playing. Home where my love likes waiting silently for me . - Homeward Bound; Simon and Garfunkel  This year I decided to go to Haiti to ring in the new year with my family.  My wifi was spotty so I didn’t post as much as I thought I would, though I did do some writing. My friend Jack has told me he thinks my entries are too long so I’ve broken them up. I had a great time and my trip was pretty eventful. Traveling with Mother:  Traveling with my mother is something that I either never want to do again or need to do every time she goes to Haiti—in order to try and keep her in check.  She is NOT a good traveler.  Generally speaking, I think that my mother has a lot of anxiety.  Some of the anxiety trickles into travel. The problem ...

I'm on vacation in Haiti and my wifi has been spotty. I've been writing but haven't gotten the chance to post...  “…it’s the eye of the tiger. It’s the thrill of the fight! Rising up to the challenge of our rival, and the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night and his watching us with the eye of the tiger…”  - Survivor  Yeah. I know it's pretty bad and a cheesy choice of song. But It's all I could think of, and you have to admit---it's catchy and it invokes the image of Rocky doing his thing.  Today is Monday December 29th, and I’m currently mid-flight on my way to some fun in the sun.  2014 has been a year of change for me.  I’ve known it but every now and again, something will happen and it hits me really hard.  Today it happened on the air plane. I buckled in and didn’t need a seat belt extender!  I remember as if it were yesterday the first time I had to ask for one. I wanted to die from embarrassment ing and those chan...

  --> “Sometimes I get to feelin' I was back in the old days - long ago. When we were kids, when we were young. Things seemed so perfect - you know? The days were endless, we were crazy - we were young. The sun was always shinin' - we just lived for fun. Sometimes it seems like lately - I just don't know. The rest of my life's been - just a show. Those were the days of our lives. The bad things in life were so few. Those days are all gone now but one thing is true -When I look and I find I still love you.” – Days of Our lives, Mercury This week I have been in a very Freddie Mercury, worship-y sort of place. I love Queen. I couldn’t think of a Queen song that worked for this post, so I just picked a song I liked. Mercury’s last video was for this song, shortly before his death in 1991. If you are someone who has been overweight, or if we are to be truthful, morbidly obese, as I was (People who know me, especially YOU---Ou mem mem—fix your face.  The fa...

Ten years living in a paper bag. Feedback baby, he's a flipped out cat. He's a platinum canary, drinkin' falstaff beer. Mercedes rule, and a rented lear. Bottom feeder insincere. Prophet lo-fi pioneer. Sell the house and go to school. Get a young girlfriend, daddy's jewel. A change would do you good. A change would do you good. – Sheryl Crow “A Change” This might be the longest I have gone without writing.   Few things have been going on, most of them good.   Mostly, I think that I have just not felt like writing much.   First, let me just say that I am happy.   Having WLS is the best, BEST thing I have EVER done for myself.   Everything thing feels fresh and new.   I have graduated from shopping exclusively at the plus sized store.   I’m still figuring out what size I am but as of today it feels like either a 14W (plus size) or a regular 16.   I have been able to get clothes from Old Navy (not plus), The Gap and the Loft. Quick funny story-...

  --> “I’m winning. I’m winning. I’m winning. And I don't intend on losing again. Too bad it belonged to me. It was the wrong time. And I meant to be. It took a long time. And I knew for now. I can see the day that I breathe for. Friends agree there's a need. To play the game. And to win again” – Winning, Santana When I get on the scale and I see a loss, I consider that a victory. While I always want a victorious weight loss, I’m also aware there are some victories that have nothing to do with the number on the scale. The Non-Scale Victory (NSV). I’ve had a few NSV’s this week. My boss has a guest chair in his office that I have always hated. I hated it because I didn't fit in it. I could never sit back all the way. I kinda had to perch on the edge, which sucked. It’s embarrassing even if no one noticed.   And frankly, I can’t imagine that no one noticed. The knowledge that I was so fat that was unable to fit on a piece of office furniture was sad to me...

I broke with my boyfriend the other night. Yep. I’ve had a boyfriend. For the past 10 months I’ve been dating someone.  On paper, and in theory, he was it.  I wanted smart.  He is smart. I wanted someone who was successful. He is successful. I wanted someone handsome.   He’s handsome. I wanted someone who was nice/kind. He’s nice/kind.   I also wanted someone who was funny.   Well…fail on that. He’s NOT funny. (Red Flag) But I figured that because I’m funny, we’d laugh at the shit I said. And we did.   Trust me when I tell you that I have the enviable ability to be funny for several people at once.  Anthony--- not his real name but we have to call him something-- and I met online.  He was a welcomed change to the derelicts that had approached me. His note to me was clever and smart and articulate. While he lived in the ‘burbs, he worked not too far from where I worked. From the moment we met I just felt as though it was wrong. ...

This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill Fifteen percent concentrated power of will Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain And a hundred percent reason to remember the name! – Fort Minor “Remember the Name” 27 days out… The weeks since my surgery seemed to have flown by. I am in the pureed stage and am approaching the solid food stage.   To be honest, the pureed stage has been disgusting. Like my friend said to me today, mush is mush. Boy is it ever!  I won’t lie kids; this past week has been rough.   I got my period January 2 nd and have only lost 2lbs since then.   Please do not get me started on the fact that I got my period a week early and it’s been dragging on for 7 days, with no end in sight.   Being  41 currently sucks ass and can move on to sucking all the dicks.   I’m beyond frustrated by this. I was loosing weight really quickly and it was exciting.  However, I am happy to share that  a s I t...