“I’m winning. I’m winning. I’m winning. And I don't intend on losing again. Too bad it belonged to me. It was the wrong time. And I meant to be. It took a long time. And I knew for now. I can see the day that I breathe for. Friends agree there's a need. To play the game. And to win again” – Winning, Santana
When I get on the scale and I see a loss, I consider that a victory. While I always want a victorious weight loss, I’m also aware there are some victories that have nothing to do with the number on the scale. The Non-Scale Victory (NSV).
I’ve had a few NSV’s this week. My boss has a guest chair in his office that I have always hated. I hated it because I didn't fit in it. I could never sit back all the way. I kinda had to perch on the edge, which sucked. It’s embarrassing even if no one noticed. And frankly, I can’t imagine that no one noticed. The knowledge that I was so fat that was unable to fit on a piece of office furniture was sad to me. I've had a lot of that in my life. Wedging my self into seats. Spilling over into the next person’s space. While it sucked, I lived with it. Before I sit someplace I eye the seat and make a judgment call. To sit or not to sit? Perhaps to sit delicately. Since I have to meet with my boss, I had no choice but to sit delicately. Honestly, I got used to perching every time I met with the man. The other day he was on phone but didn’t want me to leave, so I just sat perched, as usual. I'm not sure why it occurred to me to sit back in the chair, but I did. And slid I did all the way back. I'm telling you I was giddy. Still am. The weigh is coming off. Steadily. A part of me wishes it were coming off faster. Obviously, I want the weight off yesterday. However, I suppose that slow and steady is better.
I went to a meeting the other day and they had cupcakes from the GOOD bakery. While I had the requisite WFPD (What Fat People Do) moment of undressing the cupcake with my eyes--- I was ok without it. (Note--- You have noticed fat people who stare at food right? This happens when they are trying to NOT eat something. They stare at it with longing, while willing themselves not to cave and eat whatever it is. ) I don’t think that that I would have been able to pass it up before surgery. It would have been a free cupcake from the good bakery. I would have eaten it and likely glommed another.
I'm developing a pile of give away clothes. I set aside a large shopping bag and now that bag now runneth over. My over the calf boots are roomy! They used cut off my circulation. Not anymore.
Jeans that I could not get into now glide up with ease. For some reason I had jeans in several sizes. Some of them have been relegated to the bag. A few are en route to the bag. The other day I put on a pair of jeans, while I knew they were baggy I thought I could get away with it. By the end of the day I was pulling up my pants. Later that day when I was taking them off, I was able to slide them off without unzipping them!
People are starting to notice. Or at least they are saying that they can tell. My aunt asked me to send her a selfie. If you knew my aunt, you'd find the fact that she even knows what a selfie is as hysterical as I do. Anyway I did, and she freaked out. "You have a neck!" “Look at your face! I can see the lines.” Today my coworker said I was "werqing" my jeans.
Hee Hee! Nice. Non Scale Victories kids.
Let me just say that I know that I am the beginning of this process. I have a long way to go till I get to my goal. However I am excited about the progress I’ve made so far. While I haven’t won, I’m on the path to winning.