Thursday, December 19, 2013

Unwritten


"I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined. I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned. Staring at the blank page before you, open up the dirty window. Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find. Reaching for something in the distance, so close you can almost taste it! Release your inhibitions feel the rain on your skin! No one else can feel it for you, only you can let it in. No one else, no one else, can speak the words on your lips. Drench yourself in words unspoken, live your life with arms wide open! Today is where your book begins…the rest is still unwritten." –Unwritten, Natasha Beniningfield


The moment that I saw the guy in the lobby, I knew we were going to the same place. He knew it too. I could tell by the way he looked at me, the way he did the half smile and then looked away. He was an ok looking sort of guy, definitely handsome, in the same way that I "have such a pretty face".  Sure enough, we both reached for the same floor number. 10. When the elevator doors opened, he let me out first. But because I was so sure we were going to the same place, I got out and just let him walk ahead of me. As I predicted, he got to Suite 10S and opened the door. That was on August 3, 2013, the first visit I made to the Bariatic surgeon. 

That was my first step. 

I did it. I caved, won, took a stand, failed, took the easy way out, the hard road in, however you want to describe it, but I had Gastric Sleeve bypass on Thursday December 12, 2013 at NYU Langone Medical Center. Those of you who visit my sad little blog, know that I have been toying with this idea on and off for years. I did not make this decision lightly.  This was a move that was years in the making. I attended 3 different information sessions. I did research. Read blogs. Talked to my shrink, my friends and random people that I know who also had WLS (weight loss surgery).

It wasn't easy, but it just seemed like the logical choice to me. I know that is it not "the cure". I know that I have many difficulties and hard times ahead of me.  I feel as if I already know what people mean, when they say that this surgery is just a tool.  However, this was what was right for me at this particular point in my life.  

I'm ready to see where this step takes me. 

3 comments:

  1. Hi April,

    I love you. You are one of my favorite people. After me.

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  2. You did it! And im so happy to be apart of this journey with you and call you my friend--homie! :)

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  3. "I did it. I caved, won, took a stand, failed, took the easy way out, the hard road in, however you want to describe it"...brilliant writing. Proud of you.

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