Tuesday, January 24, 2012

You want rude? I'll give you rude...

In a New York minute, everything can change. In a New York minute things can get pretty strange. In a New York minute. Everything can change, in a New York minute… -Eagles

I think I have, spoken about how about how much I love my fair city. I’m going to do it again. I LOVE New York. All of it. Each part of it. The smells, the sounds, the people just the general energy of this city. If I could live anywhere else, I wouldn't. WTF for really? I don’t know anyone who has moved from here, who is all that happy about it. They all miss it. They may like their new job, or their new house, but they miss New York. I have a friend who moved across the country and hates it. My cousin moved up to New York State and hates it. Don’t get me started on the people who moved to New Jersey. HATE IT. New York is special and New Yorkers are awesome.

This is why Travel and Leisure’s list of 20 rudest American cities really truly and completely chaps my ass. My ass. It is chapped. New York as a city is not rude. Does New York contain some rude people? Duh yes, of course. It’s like people love to say that French people are rude. No they aren’t. They’re just French. We’re not rude, we’re New Yorkers. You want to know who is rude. I will tell you. Transplanted New Yorkers are rude as hell. They come here, from wherever they are from, and think that in order to make it here, they need to be boorish jack wagon. Wrong. What you need to do is be fast and focused. You know who else is rude? Tourists. Tourists are rude. Maybe not all of you, but a lot (many, some...ok a few) of you. I’ve seen it with my own eyes.

While I understand that tourists are a huge benefit to this city, they are pain in the ass. The prime tourist season in New York City is July, August and mid to late December. It is a great topic of conversation amongst real live New Yorkers. The tourists. How in the way they are. How you can spot them a mile away. God forbid you work/live in a high tourist area. (As I do) They are just everywhere. Stopping short. Trying to walk 6 across on the sidewalk. Leaning against subway poles. Schleping (that’s New York for carrying) their bags full of counterfeit goods on the subway. Cutting the lines. (Seriously that might get you shanked---which is New York for stabbed). Standing in the doorway of the train. Are you fucking kidding me? MOVE! I get it. You’re not from here and you likely never walk anywhere. You get in to your car, and drive to the local Wal-Mart or Ralph’s or Wegmans (I love Weggies and have Weggie envy) and take care of your business. The NYC is just not that kinda town. We walk everywhere. We do it fast and with purpose. So will I be annoyed and abrupt with you when you and your brood stop in the middle of the sidewalk for some unknown reason? You betcha. And no, you can’t walk 6 across. You just can’t. Sure, you’re not from here and need to get your bearings and look at your little map. I get it. However, please move your fanny pack wearing self over to the side, the rest of us have things to do. I have a train, bus or taxi to catch and you are impeding my progress.

All of that aside, however, if you ask me for directions, I will help you. Happily. If you want to know the best place to get a hotdog, shop or what show to see, I am all yours, albeit for 30 seconds. I have, as have many New Yorkers, approached people we think are lost and offer to help them find their way. Tell me, please in what world, is that rude? It’s not. Here is what I won’t do. I don’t help with the fake bag trade---fake bags are cheap, poorly made, the people who make them work in substandard conditions. Chinatown, where people love to go and get the fake goods, is a commercial AND residential area. How would you like it if tour busses full of people rolled up in to your neighborhood to buy illegal items? It is said, that money earned from counterfeit goods, funds terrorism. I don’t know that it’s true or not, but I buy it. So you can forget it, I won’t help you. I remember once I was in Chinatown and one of the peddlers of counterfeit goods was trying to get me to follow him to get a fake Louie. After trying to say no nicely, I finally sort of yelled at him. A passerby, a woman CLEARLY a tourist noticed my reaction and asked me about it. Noticing the telltale sign of her recent purchase of fake bag (they are always in these black plastic bags) I told her all things I outlined for you all. Only I wasn’t nice about it. I was pissed. She turned beet red and got away from me as quickly as she could. When I recounted the story for my best friend and my mother, they both said I was mean. Whatevs. But now that I think of it, maybe that’s who T&L surveyed.

So please, come to New York. We love visitors. We love visitors who follow the rules and do their best to not get in the way of us living our day to day. So promise me you’ll try.

*** Hey Kids- Blogger is messing with me and I couldn't put in any links for the article, or walmart or Ralphs or Weggies. Just google them. Sorry!-A ***


  1. Hey April :o) I'm slowly making my way through your blog. I just wanted to say, that although I have never been into The City, I've been to Garden City L.I. 3 times and the people there were some of the nicest people around. This is coming from a girl from the NW who had all sorts of scary ideas of what the "mean, rude" New Yorkers would be like. Yes, I've been to NY 4 times and never once to the Empire State Building or any of the other touristy stuff lol.

  2. Well hey there Miss Lisa, thanks for stopping by. Come on to the the city, come visit, we'll be happy to have you. Just kindly step over to side. Thank you. LOL :-)