You've got the look, Part I

 
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Look here...You got the look (you got the look).You must'a took (you must'a took)
A whole hour just to make up your face, baby. Closin' time, ugly lights, everybody's inspected (Everybody's inspected). But you are a natural beauty unaffected (Unaffected). Did I say an hour? My face is red, I stand corrected (I stand corrected). You've got the look. You've got the hook. You sho'nuf do be cookin' in my book. Your face is jammin'. Your body's heck-a-slammin'.  If love is good. Let's get to rammin'- "You got the look"- Prince

As my body has been changing I’ve been trying to figure out, not only, what my look is but also what makes me feel comfortable and pretty. What kind of clothes do I like? What should my hair look like? What’s my make up routine? I’ve spent or spend a lot of time thinking about that sort of thing. In the past I always felt relegated to a certain look. Now that I’m freer to shop around I feel as though I can really start to express myself. I’m still working on it. 

While I’m figuring it out, I’ve been studying the women I see around me. This has made me seriously wonder about some women. The lace front wig, weave, colored contact, face beat within an inch of their lives, high heeled every day all day, fake nailed, bitchy resting face type of women.  I also wonder about the women who don’t give a shit. Like do you not see that your sweater has a hole in it? Did you not notice that your pants have a mustard stain? When was the last time you combed your hair? To all of these women I ask “WHY”? Why do you care SO much and why don’t you care at all? Certainly there is a happy medium? 

Full disclosure. I am girly girl. Not the most girly of girls, but I am no ones “naturalista”. I wear make up every single day. I think that lips should be lined and filled in with red, or purple or brown or pink and sometimes nude, but not so nude that it looks like you aren’t actually wearing any lip color. Think nude plus. Nails- both finger and toes should be polished. Hedges should be trimmed. I get a full Brazilian every month, as well as an underarm wax—I don’t have any hair on my legs, or I would take care of that as well. Eyebrows (and I can not stress this enough) should be on fleek at all times. 

While I appreciate comfort, I also like pretty shoes. What I have learned is the pretty shoes are NOT comfortable and looking uncomfortable is not pretty. There is a never an occasion where the newborn baby calf walk is cute or acceptable. The newborn baby calf walk often happens when heels are too high or you just plain can’t walk in them. Oh what to do what to do? The solution is pretty simple. 1. When walking long distances, give in to the ugly yet comfortable shoe. I know, I know. But it’s really better for all parties involved. Trust me. 2. Cute shoes can be worn at work and at a function where there is mostly sitting. Perhaps the occasional walk to the buffet, ladies room or dance floor.  Do not attempt to walk across Miami International Airport in the cute shoes. 3. Know your limits. If your limit is a 3-4 inch heel, then that is your limit. I know. But all the practice in the world will not allow you look and feel comfortable in 5-6 inch stiletto. Mariah Carey looks ridiculous. Wendy Williams needs helping walking to and from her platform on her show (I’ve seen it with my own eyes). I think I’ve said enough.

Too much jiggle? Please, go be right with the Lord and get yourself a pair of Spanx. Since surgery I wear Spanx every day. EVERY DAY! I wear them under yoga pants. I’m not playing around. Kimmie K (not that we are trying to emulate her) wears two pairs at a time! Beyoncé wears them and her body is sick. I say all this to say that Spanx are your friend. Embrace that shit. Wow. I just went to church on the virtue of Spanx. (Note to discuss with therapist.) 

My objection is to the supreme artifice. I have seen YouTube videos of women who show you their makeup routine. By the end, they are a different person.  In the case of some of the Black women, they are a different shade all together. Clearly perpetuating the message that Beauty = being lighter? How much time are you spending beating your face? My make up routine is 11-13 minutes from start to finish. Yes, I timed it. That includes face washing and moisturizing. I like looking polished. I don’t like looking fake. Ok fine purple lips are kinda fake.  I know a woman whose daily routine is 30-40 mins. She looks good, I guess, but she also looks fake. Like you don’t want to hug her because some of her face will end up on your clothes.  I also wonder about the men who like women who look like that.  What are you thinking when you meet a woman with eyebrows that look as though they have been filled in with a sharpie and eyelashes like a giraffe?  

Perhaps I'm trying to unpackage something that's not really there. However, when I see an Asian woman with UN-asian eyes (and the thing is that it doesn’t really look not Asian, it looks like what you’ve done as an Asian person. Had surgery to in the attempt to look less ethnic) blonde hair and green contacts and it makes me pause. When I see black woman after black woman with the tell tale signs of skin bleaching or the bad fake hair, I feel it deeply.

What is it that you don't like about your self that makes you feel as though you need to alter your appearance in such an extreme manner? I'm not sure what to make of these women. I suppose I’m just wondering how, when, why and where women received the message that we can’t look like ourselves and still feel as though we are beautiful.