Less of April...

This bitter earth what fruit it bears. What good is love, that no one shares And if my life is like the dust, that hides the glow of a rose. What good am I Heaven only knows. This bitter earth, can it be so cold? Today you're young too soon you're old. But while a voice within me cries, I'm sure someone may answer my call and this bitter earth may not be so bitter after all. -This Bitter Earth, Dinah Washington The first question: Why do you want to lose weight and what do you honestly believe to be your chances of success this time? It took me a few days to come up with an answer for this one, and for whatever reason it came to me in the middle of the night. Here is what I came up with: The Mental, The Physical and The Spiritual. The Mental Being fat fucks with your head. It is one great big mind fuck. I know that my weight keeps me down. It keeps me low. It depresses me. All this extra weight keeps me from reaching my potential. When people look at me they see ...

Blackbird singing in the dead of night take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life you were only waiting for this moment to arise. Blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these sunken eyes and learn to see all your life you were only waiting for this moment to be free.Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly into the light of the dark black night. Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly, into the light of the dark black night. Blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arise, you were only waiting for this moment to arise, you were only waiting for this moment to arise. – Beatles, Blackbird It is time to do something. It is make a move or die, time. Less of April. That was goal, for there to be less, of April. I was hoping for less weight, less baggage, less stuff weighing me down. There is not less of me. There is the same of me. Well, sometimes less, sometimes more. The point is that wha...

Had a conversation with the group people last night and we talked about parents, mothers mostly. This got me thinking about something I had written in 2008. It doesn’t really capture how I feel about them as people. Its more about when I realized they were getting older. I love my parents. I always will. They make me crazy though, and I don’t know what to do with my feelings about them. I struggle with having genuine love for them, yet wanting to keep them at arms length. {shrugs} The truth about Mom and Dad... Sunday, January 13, 2008 Current mood: thoughtful Category: Life Remember when your parents knew everything? Remember when they were the strongest, the smartest and the most handsome or beautiful? I remember that. The long and short of it is that my parents are getting old. Thems be the facts baby. I look at my father, my charming, and life of the party Papi. Now with white hair, white beard, old man stoop, arthritic hands and a satchel full of heart medicine. C...

In a New York minute, everything can change. In a New York minute things can get pretty strange. In a New York minute. Everything can change, in a New York minute… -Eagles I think I have, spoken about how about how much I love my fair city. I’m going to do it again. I LOVE New York. All of it. Each part of it. The smells, the sounds, the people just the general energy of this city. If I could live anywhere else, I wouldn't. WTF for really? I don’t know anyone who has moved from here, who is all that happy about it. They all miss it. They may like their new job, or their new house, but they miss New York. I have a friend who moved across the country and hates it. My cousin moved up to New York State and hates it. Don’t get me started on the people who moved to New Jersey. HATE IT. New York is special and New Yorkers are awesome. This is why Travel and Leisure’s list of 20 rudest American cities really truly and completely chaps my ass. My ass. It is chapped. New York...

“Something has changed within me. Something is not the same. I'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game. Too late for second-guessing. Too late to go back to sleep. It's time to trust my instincts. Close my eyes: and leap! It's time to try defying gravity. I think I'll try defying gravity kiss me goodbye. I am defying gravity and you won’t bring me down! I'm through accepting limits 'cause someone says they're so some things I cannot change. But till I try, I'll never know! Too long I've been afraid of losing love I guess I've lost. Well, if that's love. It comes at much too high a cost!” - Defying Gravity ( Wicked ) A writer? A musician? A fashion designer? A pilot? A police officer? A doctor? A lawyer? An astronaut? What did you want to be when you grew up? None of those things? All of those things? I remember wanting to be an interior designer. I loved (and still do) putting things together. I liked the idea of ...