Less of April...

I am wondering why I am feeling so tired that it hurts today! Oy… We had a huge snow storm this weekend. Remember when snow was fun? Remember when you looked forward to it? Yeah, looks as though those days are gone for me. New York City is a great place to live. I wouldn’t live any where else. We have exact 12 hours of the beautiful stuff. It’s gorgeous coming down, and makes the city seem like a magical place. The NEXT day, it’s a hot mess. The beautiful snow is trudged on, and turns into a dirty slushy mess! I am reporting that I went BACK to WW this Saturday. Why would I do this so close to the Christmas? Why not just wait for the New Year and make that my resolution? Here is the thing, I just decided that I could not, once again, do that same clichéd act and make loosing weight my new year’s resolution. I can’t be in the crowded room again. I know that I might not loose a whole lot of weight, but I can promise myself that I will be more aware of what I am eating this week. How...

Remember when your parents knew everything? Remember when they were the strongest, the smartest and the most handsome or beautiful? I remember that. The long and short of it is that my parents are getting old. Them’s be the facts baby. I look at my father, my charming, life of the party Papi. Now with white hair, white beard, old man stoop, arthritic hands and a satchel full of heart medicine. Case in point, I had to zip up my dad’s jacket the other day. Talk about full circle. He used to zip up my jacket. We were in Target recently and I saw my dad shuffling ahead me. I went over and gave me him a push. Papi stand up straight, Papi pick up your feet. My ferocious father is slowing down. It makes me sad. I look at my mother, my beautiful, oh so glamorous Mom. Who is developing fat pockets under her eyes, hopelessly; obviously dyed hair and random age spots. And just between you and me, she is become unbelievably annoying. Constantly asking me questions… April can you? April...

Well kids, April’s back. For how long I’m not sure. I won’t make promises I can’t keep. Absolutely nothing new has been happening. Actually less than nothing has been going on. Went off my meds and back on again. I did start seeing a new therapist. Good looking out to a good new friend who turned me on to him. Therapy is important I think, and seems quite the New York thing to do. I’ve been in and out of therapy for years now, with varying degrees of success. Like most things in my life, I start and stop with an alarming regularity. That is, I usually stop when it gets to hard or uncomfortable. I’m hoping that I keep it up this time, because I know that I am in desperate need of help. And want nothing more than to stop living in the dark, bumping into things. [That’s what my life seems like to me] What I am hoping for this time is to come up with a plan of action. I want to find out why I do the things I do, and what I can do to change them. This weekend I was supposed to go ba...